Teenage Angst?

I'm lost. Boy am I lost. I'm lost beyond words, and if that's not bad enough allready, I'm also stuck. Stuck in my rusty life. I don't know nothing anymore. I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore, what I'm supposed to do anymore, what I'm supposed to think anymore. I think I even forgot how to be me. It used to be all this simple. I listened to bands such as Alesana and Silverstein and whatnot. Emotional music made by middle class people. So, I belonged, with my perfect life and all. I mean, there was nothing wrong with it, not too many trainwrecks, not too many people who came from broken homes, I mean, I had a lot in common with most of the bands and fans. This was my world. This was were I belonged. But everything changed when I got into punk rock (through Green Day, think what you wanna think about that)

All of a sudden the world wasn't all that nice and carefree anymore. All of a sudden there were stories about people my age or younger, who got abused by their parents, who got abandonded by their parents, who eventually ran away and started a 'new' life, full of drugs and booze and violence. I like the music, yes. I love the politics, the DIY principes and stuff. I love the thought of a bunch of outcasts coming together to make something, to do something usefull. I hate the thought of a place full of trainwrecks. Me, the white middle class girl with the perfect life, what do I have in common with those people on the margins of society?
The simple answer is nothing. So why do I feel attracted to such a negative scene, such an unhappy world, while I was born with all the advantages in life? While I could become a doctor, a lawyer, a judge? I don't have to live in a squat home because I haven't got another choice, I can just buy a big house, house and tree and dog and 2 kids and live a happy carefree life. But at the same time, that's not what I want to do. I know I don't belong in this middle class world, but at the same time, I don't belong with people who went through more shit than I can imagine. The punk people, they've seen too much of the unhappiness in the world, most of them have seen too many sorrow, fear and anger. Yet the middle class people, my own friends and classmates, seem to be too carefree, it's like they don't care about the world. When they see poor people, they say "oh, you know, it's their own fault, they're too stupid to study well and then they end up having these bad jobs, and then they earn too little, blahblahblah.." You know. I don't belong with those people either. At the same time I want to see all the ugliness of this world, because I don't want to close my eyes and live my comfortable middle class life like there's nothing bad out there, but on the other hand, I wouldn't ever want to live in that ugliness, because I will feel too unhappy, and I will have the feeling I need to do something about all the suffering, and then I'd have to conclude that I can't save everyone, and to me, that hurts more than anything, the impotent feeling of not being able to help someone. So punk, with all the drugs and the violence and the ugly things going on, it's not meant for me. And I know this blind middle class society wasn't meant for me either, so where do I belong? Why isn't there anything compromising, like a punk scene with people just like me, people who live perfect lives but just seem to be unable to be satisfied by it? I don't know what to do anymore, don't know where I belong anymore. And I know there's no-one out there who could give me a place to belong. I guess I'm just a complainee who's never happy with what she already has. And it pisses me off. The world pisses me off.
Call it teenage angst if you like, this never-ending sad feeling when you're discovering the world around you isn't as nice and safe as you always thought it was, this feeling of never fitting in anywhere.
Sometimes I just wish I could just back to the world my best friend's in, the world without too many drugs or booze or violence, with all the people just like us. But for some reason, I can't, I'm attracted to a world that I don't even want to belong to. Say that I'm just never happy with all my blessings.